first day
A tough first day.
To continue our work from Sofia and Bitola, or to start afresh?
Bagryana talked about the impossibilities of her grandfather’s living (what felt for me to be a wonderful beginning of some text):
“it’s impossible to be good”
“it’s impossible not to feel fear”
“it’s impossible to be certain”
But here, in Australia, it is nothing, no effort at all.
She talked of the dualistic nature of living in communist Bulgaria – words for at home, words for outside (“this is not for in front of people”). The time of whispers. Two volumes for speaking.
“we don’t sing that song anymore”.
But, it’s fair to say that the day was dominated by my state. My disorientation/displacement being back in Melbourne, jetlag, back issues. I felt weighed down, unable to escape the melancholic.
At the end (of a much abbreviated day) I danced to some music. It lightened the space, reminded me of the other side of dancing.
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